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by Deirdre McLoughlin
Lay Spiritan, Canada
Deirdre McLoughlin lives in Sioux Lookout, Northern Ontario, where she and her husband Dermot share the pain and the joy of the Ojibway and Cree people.
Spiritan Missionary News
Vol. 21, # 2
May 1997
I had two wonderful Grandmothers. They could not have been more different. Every afternoon my city Grandmother changed into a silk dress, with a cameo brooch necklace, while my country Grandmother, a farmer's wife, was probably churning butter. Why am I telling you this? I have not thought about the Grandmothers for many years. Now I realize both these women taught me in their own way much about acceptance, listening and waiting. Both were nonjudgemental, gave advice only when asked, and ever as a child made you feel heard. My earliest teachers were my grandmothers.
The Listening Hearts of Lepers
As a newly married woman living and working in a leprosy settlement in Nigeria, I met some other special women. I was very lonely and terribly homesick and one day wandered into a section of the village where a group of women known as 'burnt-out cases' lived. They contracted leprosy before there was any treatment and were left with the worst deformities. Some had no noses, many had stumps for hands or feet, some walked around on all fours supported just by stumps. Yet it did not take long to realize that their spirit of acceptance and their listening hearts shone through all this. None of them spoke or understood English, yet they graciously welcomed me and I felt understood, I realized that there are many ways of listening. I was filled with life and joy just sitting in the shade with them and listening with our silences, hearts and senses. Even as I remember today I am filled with gratitude and love.
So Much To Do
For many years as a mother, I would listen, hear and then feel I had to 'fix it'. I attempted to control, and at times felt the world was on my shoulders. There was so much to be done, so many injustices to address, wrongs to right. I became a doer and experienced a sense of quiet desperation - the children! the house! my relationship with my spouse! the local community! the global community! - so much to do, so little time to do it. I often felt overwhelmed and resentful. "Why do I have to try and fix everyone's hurts and problems?" The answer, of course, was I did not have to. A priest friend to whom I confided my frustrations challenged me to start praying. To take time out, be less action-oriented and pray. To listen with my heart to the gentle voice of the Spirit speaking deep within, whose voice is like water dropping on a sponge not crashing on rock. To hear, one had to 'be still and know that I am God'. It became clear that as I listened to that small, still voice of the Spirit and quietly waited, I was moved towards where I should be involved. A great weight was lifted off my shoulders and handed to a loving God. Never again would I feel so burdened. With a peaceful heart I could say, "Here I am Lord, do with me what you will," and wait to be shown.
Reminded of Mary
My trail of life has had many interesting twists and turns and has led to many unexpected places. My times of listening and waiting often highlight my powerlessness, my need for a deep trust and acceptance. I often think of Mary at the Annunciation at these times. Her Yes and then her moving into the uncertainty of her answer. As a chaplain in Palliative Care I was powerless to fix but able to listen, with or without words. To enter the pain, to share the grief and watch God's
grace work in the acceptance of approaching death. To sit in Emergency and feel utterly powerless as I listened and waited with parents whose only son was fighting for life after a hit and run accident, as they said over and over, "Why? Danny is such a good son." At a time like this I was reminded of Mary at the foot of the cross, listening to Jesus' laboured breathing and waiting for him to die.
I Am Where I Should Be
I don't live in the city anymore, but in a small town in Northwestern Ontario. Much of my past four years has been spent in communities north of the road system with the First Nations people, the Ojibway and Cree. There has been much sadness and tragedy in their lives. Many a time I have sat with the families of suicide victims. I have felt helpless and completely powerless and often asked myself, "What am I doing here? I don't belong here. Am I being intrusive? Should I leave?" Yet each time I know I am where I should be, and the fact that I am an older woman makes it even more important that I stay. If someone talks, you sit still and listen, if someone holds your hand or weeps on your shoulder, these are silent words. Listen, enter into the pain and wait. All listening is not painful, however. I have celebrated, heard stories of life and love and adventure and been involved in community feasts and ceremonies. I have been in awe of how these people rise above their misfortunes. I have spent many occasions on the telephone with someone who just needed a listening ear. Often I will add nothing to the conversation other than the odd eh! eh! and just as suddenly as it started the call will end with "Meegwetch, (thank you), that was very helpful, I feel much better now," It might be months before we speak again.
A God Who Waits
Many places in Scripture give us examples of God adopting an accepting, listening and waiting stance with the people, for example Is. 65:1-3: I "I said, 'I am here, I am here,' to a nation that did not invoke my name." When I recognize that I am once again trying to solve the problems of the world I know that I have not been praying and need once more to turn in prayer to a listening Creator and say again, "Here I am Lord, do with me what you will," and wait patiently for the answer.
Solidarity with Haiti
We have all been following the events since January 12th, 2010, when Haiti was hit with a 7.0 magnitude earthquake followed by numerous very substantial aftershocks. To the already impoverished country, this is a heartbreaking catastrophe. The Spiritans have been ministering in Haiti and with Haitians living abroad for many years. There are 43 Spiritans connected with our Haitian Foundation - 12 ministering within Haiti, 12 ministering outside the country and 19 Haitian seminarians studying for the priesthood.
One of our many ministries in Haiti is the Petit Séminaire College St Martial (PSCSM) in the heart of Port-au-Prince. College St. Martial is a Catholic school established in 1865 by the Spiritans. Originally it was a minor seminary (petit séminaire) for candidates to the priesthood, but since 1872 it has operated as an open school where generations of Haitians have acquired a good quality education. From 1865 to the present more than 300 Spiritans missionaries (priests and brothers) have proudly worked and ministered at this school.
Before the earthquake, it operated as a kindergarten (200 students), primary school (760 students) and secondary school (800 students). It also served as our Spiritan administrative headquarters for Haiti as well as the Spiritan formation centre for our young seminarians.
The painful news we have received is that College St. Martial has been badly damaged by the quake. One half of the school (the primary section) has collapsed. The huge chapel, which also serves as a parish church, is severely damaged along with the Spiritan residence. The structures that remain may or may not be salvageable.
Haiti needs our help. For many years, the Spiritans of TransCanada have had a special relationship with Haiti and particularly our school there, College St. Martial. The Spiritans of TransCanada have set up two funds to respond to this crisis in Haiti; the Earthquake Fund and the St. Martial Fund. In solidarity with the Spiritans and their students in Haiti, our own school in Toronto, Neil McNeil High School, is at the forefront of this fundraising campaign for College St. Martial. Cheques can be made out to The Spiritans (memo Earthquake Fund) or The Spiritans (memo St. Martial Fund).
Donations can be sent to:
The Spiritans (Aid to Haiti)
121 Victoria Park Ave.
Toronto, ON
Canada
M4E 3S2
For more on the Spiritans in Haiti:
Petit Séminaire College St Martial
Secondary School
Petit Séminaire College St Martial
Chapel & Spiritan Headquarters
Petit Séminaire College St Martial
Primary School
Petit Séminaire College St Martial photos courtesy of Fr. Dexter Brereton, CSSp
Petit Séminaire College St Martial
Chapel after the earthquake
Petit Séminaire College St Martial
Primary School after the earthquake
Neil McNeil Catholic High School
A Spiritan Tradition |
Neil McNeil reaches out to Haiti
Shortly after the world realized the enormity of the earthquake in Haiti, the Young Spiritans group at Neil McNeil sprang into action and met with the school chaplain Fr. Obinna Ifeanyi, CSSp to draw up a plan of support for the Spiritans in Haiti and the Spiritan school in Haiti, College St. Martial. The students at Neil McNeil have a wonderful relationship with the Spiritans and wanted to show their support for the Spiritans and to also show solidarity with their fellow students in Haiti. Neil McNeil has a proud history of mission outreach and solidarity with the less fortunate and so it was no surprise that these students were so quick to meet with the Spiritans and say "We want to help Haiti." Staff, students and alumni can be justifiably proud that Neil McNeil High School is at the forefront of this fundraising campaign for the Spiritan College St. Martial in Port-au-Prince, Haiti.
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